BBC WORLD NEWS
April 18 2011 Last updated at 07:35 ET
Umar Fidai survived when his explosive vest failed to detonate properly. His family has not been in touch since he was found lying in the street
In early April a suicide blast ripped though a Pakistani shrine packed with thousands of devotees, leaving scores dead. Both attackers were schoolboys in their early teens. But one survived and told the BBC’s Aleem Maqbool what made him want to take his life and the lives of others.
“All I was thinking was that I had to detonate myself near as many people as possible. When I decided it was the right time, it was a moment of happiness for me,” said 14-year-old Umar Fidai.
“I thought that there would be a little bit of pain, but then I would be in heaven.”
Umar did not make it to paradise. Instead, we find him in custody.
His left arm is missing, his right arm entirely strapped up, and there are bandages around his torso. But he is alert, polite and disarmingly frank.
“The plan was that Ismail would blow himself up near the shrine. I would wait for the ambulances to come and detonate myself near them to kill more people. I had no doubts at all beforehand.”